In 2003, press releases appeared in Daily Variety and Hollywood Reporter announcing that Werner Herzog, the acclaimed art house director, would be filming a documentary called The Enigma of Loch Ness. That film was never completed. Instead, we have this movie, INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS, which portrays the behind the scenes mishaps that befell Herzog when he took his crew to Scotland to explore the legend of the famous Loch Ness monster. Rather like Lost in La Mancha (which explored the unraveling of Terry Gilliam’s proposed filmization of Don Quixote), INCIDENT is an amusing look at what can go wrong when circumstances and Mother Nature conspire to overturn the best laid plans of even an inspired filmmaker. The film is also a scathingly satirical look at what happens when crass Hollywood commercialism (in the form of producer Zak Penn) tries to inject itself into the movie-making process of an uncompromising auteur. But INCIDENT is more than this even; in its final section, the film turns into a documentary horror movie (along the lines of The Blair Witch Project) when Herzog and his crew find themselves stranded in the middle of the Loch on a foggy evening, while something unseen circles in the water, honing in on the a damaged boat.

The presentiments of disaster come early. It is clear from the beginning that Herzog is not quite the obsessed man that his legend would have us believe. Although he has made dramatic films (like Aguirre the Wrath of God) about maniacal characters driving themselves and those around them to destruction in pursuit of some impossible goal, Herzog himself is not obsessed with “authenticating” the existence of the Loch Ness Monster; rather, he hopes to create a serious documentary that explores the enduring appeal of the legend: why do people want to believe in Nessie?

Herzog's attempt is undermined, however, by his unscrupulous producer (Zak Penn), an archetypal Hollywood asshole trying to make the film more commercial.  Penn is seen talking with mechanical effects people behind Herzog’s back. Later on, he surreptitiously shoots a bikini-clad "sonar expert” stripping down to check the underwater equipment and also drops a phony-looking floating prop of Nessie into the Loch, so that he can get a “money shot” that will sell the film.

Their conflict comes to a head when they stumble, apparently, upon the actual monster, during a long JAWS-type sequence in which their boat loses power, stranding them in the middle of the Loch while an unseen presence in the dark water stalks their vessel. The documentary crew huddles in the ship’s hold, helpless to avoid the recurring attacks. Abandoning their comrades, some strike out on their own, stealing the only lifeboat; at least one ends up dead. But as Penn explains to the camera near the film’s conclusion, the suffering of the dead is over, while he himself must continue to live and suffer with the knowledge of what happened during the awful incident at Loch Ness…

Both funny and scary, this mockumentary presented itself as the genuine article when it received its limited theatrical release in 2004. All of the cast play characters named after themselves, and Herzog (in addition to his many fictional movies) is well known for his documentaries. One of his favorite topics is the collision between dream and reality, so INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS seems like a project he might genuinely have tackled, and it does brush upon (and occasionally satirize) some of his familiar themes.

Herzog gives an excellent performance as a meticulous, dedicated filmmaker who denies the more exaggerated rumors about himself (such as that he drew a gun on argumentative actor Klaus Kinski while filming of AGUIRRE, THE WRATH OF GOD) even while evincing much of the obsessiveness attributed to him. (His hateful glare toward his idiotic producer, while they and their crew wait helplessly below deck during the monster's attack, is priceless.)

Also excellent is Zak Penn, who gets most of the truly funny lines, portraying himself as a rather less sympathetic version of SEINFELD's George Castanza -- a man who justifies every venal, selfish act with a pretense of altruism. (For example, he claims he took the lifeboat not to save himself but to get help to save the others.)

The obvious appeal of INCIDENT is to insiders familiar with Herzog's genuine work; nevertheless, the film is more than good enough to entertain general audiences as well, especially those who enjoy Hollywood backstabbing and behind-the-scenes infighting. Perhaps the best way to see it is in ignorance of its phony status, but even after you're in on the joke, it's still funny.

TRIVIA

During pre-production, announcements were placed in trader papers Hollywood Reporter and Daily variety, touting that Werner Herzog was making a documentary called "The Enigma of Loch Ness." This was part of a publicity campaign to promote INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS as if it were a real documentary.

Zak Penn has worked on scripts for major Hollywood productions, including the two X-MEN sequels and SUSPECT ZERO.

In one scene, Zak Penn holds what he thinks is a gun (it's actually a flare gun) on Herzog in order to force the director to comply with Penn's vision of how their documentary should be shot. This is a reference to a famous rumor regarding Herzog, who is supposed to have held a gun on actor Klaus Kinski with a gun when the actor threatened to walk off of AGUIRRE, THE WRATH OF GOD. In INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS, Herzog merely dismisses the rumor, without giving his side of the story, saying that he is tired of defending himself. In other interviews, Herzog has admitted that, although he did not actually have a gun, he did verbally threaten to shoot Herzog if he tried to leave the filming location.

When the film premiered at the American Cinematheque in Hollywood, Penn expressed some concern that viewers who did not know him in real life might believe his on-screen portrayal of himself as an obnoxious, self-justifying Hollywood prick.